Ever found yourself doing something you love, like really frickin' adore, just wading in puddles of pure bliss then all of a sudden, you're telling yourself how shit you are and how rubbish it is that you don’t make the effort to wade in your very own puddles of bliss on a regular basis?
Oh, so is that just me? Well, maybe you haven’t noticed that you do this - but I bet you have.
Just recently, on a glorious sun-shiny winters’ afternoon, my husband finished work at around 1pm - because - breakfast radio. So before we were due to pick up our monkeys from school, we made the call to drop all the ‘should-ness’ for the afternoon and take ourselves out onto the ocean for a Stand Up Paddle.
At first I was crapping myself. A little bit because of the ridiculously icy water and well...sharks - but as I paddled further along the coast I soon found my play zone.
I was wading in my puddles of bliss, even after I was bumped off my board into the aforementioned icy water.
I paddled along following the fish, feeling grateful that I took the opportunity to have a break from studying for uni exams and work and blah, blah, blah. I was in a lovely zone of loveliness.
All of a sudden I’m hearing myself, tell myself how shit I am. beating myself up because…
‘Why don’t you do this more often?’
‘It’s so crap that you prioritise everything and everyone else but not your own bliss.’
‘Get your shit together girl, why do you behave like a grumpy Mr serious pants all the bloody time?'
And on it went, I really was being quite mean...to myself! Until - I stopped paddling. I looked around. I looked at the ridiculously turquoise, turquoise but icy water, the islands that appeared to be floating and the sparkles dancing on the surface of the turquoise, turquoise but icy water. And I laughed. Hard.
What? What? WHAT?
Be here NOW. Enjoy this bit - that is right here, right now and stop taking yourself away from the joy you have created for yourself because you are too busy judging yourself for not doing it enough.
It was, to be honest, a tad crazy.
Yes, a little bit because I was having this in depth conversation with myself (not out loud guys) but also because there I was, in my bliss, and at the same time I was trying to take my bliss away by thinking myself into a place of blisslessness!
So today, I am writing to tell you to STOP DOING THAT. Immediately - stop that, it's so naughty! (Yes, I wrote some of that sentence all shouty and no I totally do not care if 'naughty' is not a word you approve of).
If you love to be/do/have whatever it is, then just let yourself be/do/have it.
It’s ok that you don’t be/ do/have it every day, it’s ok that you don’t be/do/have the time or space or whatever it is that prevents you from doing/being/having puddles of bliss to wade in more often.
Just - enjoy it when you do.
And thank yourself for doing/being/having it!
That is all!
Have Fun Get Happy